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Alien by day, Mummy by night

When my son brought his coloring book home from school I knew I had to change my looks. The picture of mummy in the family was an orange faced caricature with red cheeks, green eyes and purple lips while everybody else was a normal brown colour. When I protested, he promised to draw another one of us of how we look at night. Wow!! I had a clashing personality to my son. During the day I am someone else, by night I am mummy. (My husband would tease me with – Alien by day, mummy by night). Lol

My mum was never really a make up person and she was still beautiful. I grew up never using make up. Infact, I only started to wear make up recently due to unconscious pressure from things around me. I wanted a ‘sparkle’ to my look. I wanted the glitz and glamour to boost my confidence. I wanted to be outstanding. In a bid to be outstanding, I stood out to my son. If I had a daughter, she may have looked up to me, maybe even negatively. There is nothing wrong with being outstanding is there? No, there isnt, but when you decide to paint yourself up (please note that make up these days are not longer enhancers, but paint. If in doubt, please compare to your children’s water color..hehehe) you are no longer outstanding you now stand out. You look different. You are no longer YOU. You have become someone else. Maybe even a clown or even worse an alien.

You go for a party and you want to sit near the AC so that you don’t sweat and you don’t embarrass yourself by cleaning your face with a white hanky. You take off your clothes and it is stained with all the brown paint you have covered your body in. You spend half the day making up and ‘touching up’ to maintain the ‘beauty’, then wait till the dead of the night when everyone is sleeping to take the ‘mask’ off. (Chai!! being a woman na wahala o).

Unfortunately, a woman/girl’s self-esteem is more strongly related to how she views her looks, her own body shape and body weight. Women are always dissatisfied about something on her body. Compliment a woman and before you hear thank you she would have pointed out all the things that are wrong with her that you initially didn’t see. Even young girls are not left out. Children of nowadays want to be adults – their weaves, their ‘light’ make up etc They want to be like Mummy, like aunty lagbaja.

Dear mothers, teach your daughters good self esteem – a healthy one – not just about their looks or bodies but also about what they have upstairs. With girls it is about respecting themselves, accepting who they were, and coming to the point of celebrating who they were created to be. Your daughter, wants to know WHO she is! She wants to be accepted and loved and you have to accept and love her for who she is. And you have to start with YOU first. Young daughters take to heart what their mothers say about bodies: their own, their daughters, those of strangers and celebrities. They notice when their mothers exercise obsessively, diet constantly, or make derogatory comments about their own appearance. As mothers, you are a girl’s first and, often, most influential role model in building her self esteem. Our girls are too precious to lose.

We dont need all that colorful make up to make us beautiful, we dont need to be pressured into looking like all those models in magazines no mater what the media says. We are beautiful the way we are. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, I am beautiful no matter what anyone thinks. Then look at your daughter (if you have one) and tell her she is beautiful.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30). Don’t be an Alien by day and mummy by night person.

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