Relationship

Discover your spouse everyday

Can I ask you a question? What did you study in school? I studied Agriculture. It was interesting at first, learning and discovering something new then. After the 5 years ran its course I got my degree. After I graduated I threw my books out the window and never read anything Agriculture related nor practised what I studied. I felt I knew enough already and so was no longer interested. But did my lack of interest stop new research from springing forth. New ways to fertilise, new ways to grow crops? No.

But guess what? Now I found a new love in IT. Programming, graphics, coding etc. And the more I wanted to know the more I went out to learn. I eat, sleep and dream IT. Same way some people dream bead making, cake baking, fashion design etc. You go all out to update yourself. You read through the magazine pages for the latest designs and study them like no tomorrow, you go online for the latest cake recipes. Because of your love for your passion you do everything possible to discover new ways of getting better.

What’s my point? Relationships die when discovery ends. The moment you stop updating yourself and discovering each other you kill whatever you have left of that relationship. We study everything of interest but we don’t always study our spouses. Our spouses change everyday and our lack of interest does not stop new things from happening in that area. Everytime they leave the house they come back ‘new’. They have something more than they had yesterday. They have seen something new in traffic, they have learnt a new shortcut to work, they have tried a new buka food, they have learnt of a new ruby woo lipstick color, they have heard something new from people they meet outside. They are not the same person from the day before. It is now left for you to discover them anew.

We take our marriages for granted everyday because we think we know all that we need to know and just like I lost interest in a subject I spent 5 years of my life in school studying, many of us lose interest in our spouses and throw everything we have built together away. Over time you both drift apart and then you realise you do not know each other anymore. Only recently we watched our wedding video and my husband said to me ‘you know, I completely forgot how good a dancer you were’. We searched for our wedding song online and danced to it all over again. It was fun and we had a good laugh. If he ever forgot, now he remembers and another memory has been created.

Today, I challenge you to kickstart your marriage again and learn something new about your spouse. It may not mean anything at first but over time it will make sense. Write the discovery down, read it everyday if you can and use that new knowledge to surprise your spouse and create new memories. Yes, life happens, we forget but we can build memories at any stage we want as long as we are intentional about it.

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