Relationship

‘Put it on’

It all started on our way to go watch a movie at the cinema. We had just had a big fight at home in front of the kids over something so silly, why do I have to set the table for him when he can just serve himself afterall I had prepared the meal all he had to do was just eat. Am I his housegirl. We got into the car not talking to ourselves as we drove the long stretch of third mainland.

As I was stepping out of the car still fuming over the fact that he didn’t help me open the door. I saw my colleague who I had just seen the day before. My attitude changed instantly, you need to see me shining my 32. She was my partner in crime in the office. ‘Hey girlfriend’, I said. Hugging her and talking like we had not seen in ages. I complimented her lovely yellow gown and took her tailors number while catching up on the few hours we ‘missed’. What’s up with you na?. I dey o. She replied. I only just came to pick up some things to prepare oga’s favorite meal. He said he felt like eating fried rice, so here I am. ‘Wow!’ I said. How romantic. You should do that often. Keep the guy coming back for more loving, lailai he won’t look outside. We both laughed. ‘I have to hurry now’, she said, ‘don’t want to keep him waiting. Bye. One last hug and she was gone.

At some point, I noticed my hubby had been really quiet watching all our pleasantries. I tried to make up with him. Is he still brooding from the fight we had before we left home? Honey, what’s wrong? Oh I forgot to introduce you, that’s the Chika from my office I always tell you about. Is that why you are angry? Then he spoke, Is that not the Chika you were complaining about that she likes to do oversabi and she is contesting for a promotion with you at work? he continued, “Despite how you complain about her you were so nice to her, I wish you’d do that for me.”

Okay, I don’t mean to be difficult, but do what?? “Light up with a sweet smile. Speak kindly and say nice things, compliment you.” I knew EXACTLY what he was talking about. And he was right.

I was all smiles for Chika. And I snapped at the one I claim I love. Hardly bothered to compliment him even when he showed me his new shirt that he bought. Heck, I won’t even do him the honors of serving his meal, even though I had cooked it. Here I was being kind and handing out the big smiles, hugs and compliments to a colleague who we are competing at work. While I left the complaints of the stress of work to him. It must have be painful for him to watch.

It reminded me of a Bible verse I read, that said “to put on” kindness and it dawned on me that showing kindness was not so much a feeling, but a choice to make – something I could “put on” (Col.3:12). I chose when to be kind and who to be kind to.

Maybe a little kindness and warm compliments could change him or maybe not but I can choose to ‘put it on’ for the one who I have vowed my love to. Think about it.

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