Relationship

The ‘ego’ wall

There are beautiful marriages. But marriages don’t become beautiful by seeking happiness; Beautiful marriages become beautiful when two people practice the daily sacrifice of their egos.

Your ego is the part of you that protects your heart. In growing up circumstance you find yourself in and experiences you go through will prompt your mind to begin to build a wall around your heart. This keeps you safe from invaders who might want to get in and attack your heart. And thank goodness for your ego-wall! Your heart is protected.

At first, we only use the ego-wall to keep people out. But eventually, we get tired of hiding fearfully and we decide the best defense is to fire back. We put missiles on our ego-wall and we start firing. For some people those missiles will appear like anger. For other people, it looks like gossip and judgment. Most of us are just afraid our hearts won’t be good enough for the people we love, so we choose to stay safe and protected behind high walls with lots of missiles. Sometimes we need our missiles to survive but most of the time we don’t.

How does this affect your marriage?

In a society where our men are born with natural walls and women have ”developed” natural walls (note the difference) in the form of feminism and all the other names I cant now remember, many wives get frustrated at being unable to connect or reach over the walls of their man, while many men are getting frustrated and feeling taken advantage off by their women.

We need a perspective change in our minds. The entire purpose of marriage is to dismantle our ego-wall, brick by brick, until we are fully available to the person we love. Open. Vulnerable. Dangerously united. Once this is achieved the sky is both your starting point.

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