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Relationship

The nagging woman

Someone wants to know. How can you stop women from nagging?
 
They say nagging is part of a woman’s DNA but I know from experience that it is a habit rather than in-born. We do it so often that nagging becomes a default mechanism that we don’t even know we are doing it. But wait o! the simple truth is if only men did as they were asked to do WHEN they were asked to do it then we won’t have to repeat the same thing over and over again. Abi? Or is it?
 
Let’s take for instance
 
Me: Baby, could you help me take the bin out?’ (Meanwhile in my head I am thinking, ‘Why do I have to remind you to take the bins out every week when LAWMA people come the same time every week?’)
 
Him: ‘Sure, no problem.’
 
30 minutes later.
 
Me: ‘Have you taken the bin out yet?’
Him, absent-mindedly, as if looking at the newspaper: ‘I’ll do it in a minute.’
 
Another 30 minutes later: ‘Na wa o, are you still going to ‘help’ me?’
 
Him (now getting angry): ‘I said I’d do it naa and if you can’t wait then do it yourself.’
Me (now very furious): I’m the only one who does anything around the house. Always promising and failing. (Then I take the bin out myself and promise never to ask him to ever do anything again in my life)
 
The main issue here is the WHEN. The time. We have the NOW syndrome. We want it done now and our way and when it is not done NOW we begin to nag to the point that we eventually get the job done but end up becoming resentful about it. The most common of the complaints among us – he is not helping to tidy the home. He is not meeting our emotional needs. ‘Why didn’t he get me XYZ for my birthday?’; ‘Why is he not as interested in the children as I am?’ and so on. The list is endless.
 
If you take a step back you will see that you are not the only one working very hard. You may be doing the house chores and all the things you have named but have you considered him cleaning the car or taking it to the mechanic for servicing, getting the faulty electrical fixed, lining up in fuel queue to get petrol for you to go to work? The only difference is that women can’t stand chores not being done for days while the average man often doesn’t get important things done for weeks. But for my peace of mind I have learnt that it doesn’t matter if something doesn’t get done immediately as long as it gets done.
 
Dear wives, don’t sacrifice the intimacy of your marriages because of your controlling behaviour. You are both working very hard in your different ways at your different pace, so instead of being critical of the other, take time out and say only good things to each other. And if you have nothing good to say and all you want to do is nag just say a word of prayer for him. It is better to tell him good things and tell the ‘bad’ things to GOD.

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