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The reality of parenting

Parenting….. hmmmm where do I begin.

I had a dream that my children will be well behaved. They will greet their elders when they see them without me pinching their ears. They would eat their food without me begging and singing for them. They would have clean clothes all through the school day and I would have less to wash. They would answer me when I give instructions. They won’t fight with their siblings over something as flimsy as who sits by the window. Oh how I wish………

I have read books. I have read stories. I have implemented what I learnt from others. I got advice I liked. I got advice I hated. Nothing worked. And even if it did, maybe just for one day and then back to square one. Over the years, the only thing that I found that really worked was getting to know MY kids. And then getting to know them again. And then, when they changed, getting to know them all over again. They are MY kids and no one knows them better than ME. Even among all your children, each one is different and what worked for child A may not work for child B. Ofcourse, there were some universal things that did work, but when it came to connecting with my children in a way that made them MY children, it came down to trial and error. It came from seeing how they reacted to our reactions to them. My solutions for children’s problems are solutions for MY children. They can be a guide to yours but you just need to find and make your own guide. They are constantly changing.

In our last post about the antics of getting children to eat. I commend those who are currently going through the struggle, the Lord is your strength. For those mamas who are proud of their children’s achievement of conforming, I couldnt help but laugh because a few years ago, i was at a point where we had our routine. There were no tears. There was only teeth brushing, books, songs and joy. I even beat my chest about my system to my friends who swoon in envy and wished they had my kids. Well, what the parenting gods giveth, the parenting gods also taketh away…eth. (Lol) Freaky friday occured and over night and the next evening bed times became World War 3. My angelic children who would eat ALL their food became picky eaters. Mummy i dont like this green thing (vegetables). Mummy, please take away this red one (tomatoes or onions) etc. Every time we thought we had something figured out and were finally getting a handle on this whole parenting thing, the ground underneath us shifted and we had to relearn it all over again.‪#‎longsigh‬…….

You don’t learn how to be a parent by doing things right. You learn by relearning and adjusting everytime a change occurs. You learn by creating a new version of your manual everytime. Your kids can never be my kids and while some things that work for me will work for you for sometime, it should not be the standard.

Today, I greet all the parents who are in the ‘struggle’ to learn about their children every minute and for the proud mamas, I won’t beat my chest for too long with pride but enjoy it while it lasts. Lol

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