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Parenting

Tough love

When I was younger, everything I set my mind to do, I did it. When I had children, it was near impossible to do anything I wanted (or so I thought). I sat down in the midst of bottles, beeps, breast pumps etc wallowing in self pity and crying about how I had lost all my dreams and who I used to be. I used my children as an excuse for my perceived failings and expected the world out there to understand – afterall I was a mum and children never let you do anything, right? I watched other women do these things and wondered how they did it and still maintained a family. I moved closer to a much older woman, after pouring out all my heart to her about how I could not do this and could not do that, I was expecting her to give me a hug and tell me, these too shall pass and it happens bla bla bla. I was surprised when she said ‘those are all excuses’. She asked me, do you find time to have your bath? Baffled I said ‘yes’. She continued, ‘do you have time to make your hair?’ I said ‘sometimes. but I have to plan in advance’. Then she asked me if I go to church. I replied and said yes, those are normal everyday stuff naa. Then she said to me, just like you have your life mapped out and planned out and you find time to do these normal everyday things, you can still achieve your dreams. It maybe hardwork, but there is no success without hardwork. Work around the edges, use your children’s sleeping times to tighten up the loose end of your dreams. Consider the child rearing days as your incubation days to make little steps. Start working at your dreams now, with the little time you have and when you eventually become ‘free’ you would have had a foundation to build on.

Ok ma. I don hear.

Tough love but real fact.

So I am passing this advise on to you – Dont use your child to justify your unwillingness to fight for your dreams. Keep dreaming. keep adding one stick a day and when you are ready, you already have a foundation to build on. ‪#‎toughlove‬

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