She looked amazing in her beautiful flowing wedding gown. As she walked down the aisle looking radiant, her husband beamed at her wondering how he got so lucky. Taking her hands in his, they made their vows – for better for worse, in good times and in bad. At the reception, there were all kinds of prayers most of which included the celebration of a baby in 9 months and everyone echoed ‘amen’.
Days flew by so quickly and each month became a roller coaster of emotions – husband waiting for the news of a missed period, wife calculating all kinds of calculation expecting this month to be ‘the month’. The couple started looking at each other, each person afraid to utter the words in their heart “aren’t you pregnant yet?” thought the husband. “Could it be his fault?” thought the wife. Family starts to question, in laws making snide remarks, friends asking the insensitive questions – una never ready to born? una still dey do honeymoon? It’s better to start now o? It stings and they have no idea how devastated you are. Everyone giving unsolicited advice on ‘how to do it’. Frustration sets in, husband becomes withdrawn obviously because he is also in emotional pain and you begin to wonder about the ‘for better or for worse”.
Waiting for your gift can be a very lonely place—I know you know this already so I won’t preach. I’ve walked that road, too. Though, maybe not as long as many but the feeling is still the same. I’ve had my times of crying in private after a friend tells me she’s expecting or after the news of someone delivering. Complaining to God about how unfair it is that people who don’t ‘deserve’ it have theirs and even throw them away or how little teenage girls who are fornicating can easily have one. The celebration days were especially painful – Christmas, Easter and the biggest one – Mother’s Day. It reminded me that I could not be celebrated and that I was not part of that special club.
I want to reach out to those who are waiting patiently for the gift of a child, for the sound of a baby’s laughter in their homes. God gives us the desire to be mothers as long as the desire does not take God’s place in our hearts and as long as we live to praise Him. When we become obsessed by it and start jumping from place to place trying to ‘help’ God and ourselves we lose sight of HIM and let our wants rule our heart. He is faithful who has promised. He is not man that he should lie and just as he has promised I believe we’re supposed to take Him at His word and just wait.
Sisters, don’t accept the labels people have placed on you – YOU ARE NOT BARREN you are just a ‘lady in waiting’. You will learn a lot of patience in this journey because trust me you will need it when baby comes. And even though we would all like to have a normal 28 day menstrual cycle with all the signs of ovulation so that we could “time” better and get a boy or girl child, think instead of how much glory God would get in the end if you tell others how you were able to conceive despite all the odds – the long cycles, mixed with unbalanced hormones and all the negative reports you have received. Think of it this way that your story of God’s miraculous power in your life is going to leave mouths open and jaws dropped. That’s what I call ‘iya lenu God’ – the mouth opening God.
It will be mother’s day tomorrow and while people are celebrating it can be easy to feel left out but as a lady in waiting, let God fill that void for you. I won’t say it was easy, but keep yourself busy with fulfilling your God given purpose. Refocus your attention on the one who was, who is and will come. And Today, just for today, let God be enough.