Parenting nugget: On being the perfect mum

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As a mum, there are days after when you feel like you are not cut out for the job. But if I were sitting in front of you right now, I would look you in the eye and tell you: You are not a failure.

Heap of clothes to be washed in every room? Dirty plates from the night before that you were too tired to wash? (please don’t judge me). Storybooks that haven’t been read to the child yet? Homework that you didn’t quite pay much attention to and just had to rush over? Feeling like a failure already or should I list some more? You are not a failure!

Our culture tells us all the time how we are not measuring up to our great grandmother, grandmothers or even our mums? How we are not as committed or as virtuous as they were. How they did a perfect job of raising fantastic children in every standard and we are not. So if your scatter beds, heap of dirty clothes, and the thoughts of going into that burning sun to the market are bringing you down today, here is a reminder to you, Mum, you are the best!

Your messy house is a sign of a happily busy home. That’s pure truth. Think of the look on your childrens’ faces when you put the broom down and trade it for an imaginary sword to fight off the bad guys from behind the sofa. (ok that’s just me being silly but I love doing that). It’s so worth it. The house can be tidied up later. You are not a failure.

As for the children? Let kids just be kids? It’s part of the process. Despite your children having those tantrum always remember that they love you because you are doing the day in and day out parenting of real life. Besides who sits up with them at night when they are sick or feel bad? Who forgoes her own luxuries just to buy them their favorite toy or things they ask for? Who still opens her arms with love, even after the 100th time of ‘I will slap you’, ‘if I catch you’, ‘I will flog you’ threats of the day? See, I told you – you are not a failure.

Another meal of junk food or fast food? Give yourself an A for effort! yes I know we want to feed them healthy meals every time they sit down to eat, but that’s just an ideal. The reality is that as long as we’re serving what we serve with love, it’s okay. Plus, what’s the good of a dream meal if you’re stressed out about it? Do the best you can to get your children to eat healthy but realize that as long as they’re eating enough, they will continue to grow and develop. You are not a failure.

As for the other perfect mums out there? Don’t worry about them. You, yes you are perfect for your family! You may not know it, but that othermum is not perfect, either because we never know what’s really going on in her life. Don’t compare. Be confident in who you are and your strengths only.

I hope by now you already know that you are not a failure.

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