I was with my husband at a party when one of the waitresses offered him a drink on a tray and he said ‘thank you’. I quickly said – oh so you can say thank you but when it is me now you will collect the water as if its your birthright. He said, but its you naaa you should understand. Understand? Understand what? Lol
What is so hard in saying thank you sef? Whether you are married for just a month or for 50years, we often take our spouse for granted. Courtesy, gratitude, and care for each other starts to wear off. The same person whom, once upon a time, you would thank for little things, now feels unappreciated by you for all that they do for you everyday. When he gives you pocket money you collect and put in your purse. You may even complain sef that the money is not enough or that it is dirty notes. haba!! Madam just say thank you. When she serves the food after sweating in the kitchen and at the same time running after the baby to make sure his/her crying does not disturb you, you sit on the table like a king, finish the food and even expect the table cleared. haba! Oga just say thank you.
What we fail to realize is that expressing gratitude benefits both partners in the relationship—the recipient and the giver. When you give appreciation, you often receive even more in return. The days my husband tells me thank you, i am always eager to do more. I don’t know the science behind it but there is magic in the words ‘thank you’.
On the other hand, just because they have not said thank you does not mean you should stop doing. Whatever you do in your home is not only for your spouse. It is also for YOUR children (directly or indirectly). It is called building a home – your input and his input. If your spouse does not appreciate, the children will and besides you will have peace of mind that your sweat is your contribution to your home. Do not do things for your home in the hope of getting a thank you or a reward because that is the beginning of disappointment and you will walk around angry with your husband/wife with the ‘you owe me’ sign on your forehead which can lead to more trouble.
Nowadays, I don’t beg for thank you again. When I do something for my husband – i simply say out very loud ‘i hereby thank myself for serving my husband his food’ (or whatever it is I did), if he does not respond i will say ‘honey, say thank you naaa, abi i never try’ and we will both laugh about it. Message deposited. Lesson learnt.
In simple everyday issues at home every woman needs a bit of sense of humor and wisdom to direct the affairs of their house but most importantly make your spouse your friend and your sense of humor will take you both to a deeper level of intimacy.