Keeping your husband Yours and yours forever.
“Submission is the key” people will say. That is the age-long advice which often centers on tolerance, openness understanding, sacrifice, commitment and other relations in the submission family. But seeing the fate of some submissive wives who are ready to sacrifice even their lives to ensure that their relationship works, I sometimes think many women are loosing it to this submission, submissive, submitting, submiwhatever thing.. Even as I don’t oppose submission, I believe there are other prolific means of keeping your man yours without having to get the submission advice wrong.
Before you critique my reasoning, let’s take an open minded glance at these tips women can employ to keep their men theirs and theirs only.
NB: These tips wouldn’t make you less submissive but ensure that you are sensibly submissive.
1. Keeping your mouth shut
Here, I don’t mean the submission induced quietness. Keeping your mouths shut means keeping your faults_ bodily, behavioral out of the discussion table. Your husband saw other lovable things beyond your protruding dentition or your loud intonation before he agreed to settle down with you.
Don’t engage in constant reminder of your bony cheeks, pimples raven face or receding hairline. It is natural for humans to appreciate beauty. Knowing they are there yet loving you like that means he sees beauty beyond those. But getting him bored and wanting with your constant body insecurities and over conscious syndrome will only confirm that the case is so worse, you can’t bear it. This is more like submitting to self pressure. If you complain and whine so much about your body, don’t expect him to worship it.
To increase your confidence, divert less energy to seeking cosmetic solutions to whatever you feel is not fine enough.
2. Treating yourself well
In the name of pleasing our partners, we women tend to lose ourselves caring and loving everyone except ourselves. Some women resort to eating leftovers than serving their household smaller portions. There are some who would; in the name of sacrifice, wear rag-like clothes while the husband is buying designers’ latest every week.
This act is similar to ‘doing’ oneself. A Yoruba proverb translates: “whatever the owner calls his bowl, so shall it be called”.
Dearest honorable ladies in love, making yourselves the last priority on the list, abandoning your wellbeing and treating yourself as lowest of the lows would not guarantee your husband’s faithfulness. In fact, treating yourself right can be a way of showing your spouse how to care for you. A good man, rather than see your classiness as bothersome, would love and appreciate you the more for knowing your self worth. If he knows you’re not the akube clothes freak, he would not hesitate to get you designer dresses. There is nothing sensibly submissive in belittling your human worth.
3. Stop the advertisements.
Many women in the name of secrets sharing and being open minded would divulge all the body stats of their friends and colleagues to their husbands. And man is naturally inquisitive. When the man decides to confirm the information by committing adultery, they will cry foul and blame it on their stepmother’s wizardry. Nay! Blame it on your over submissive outbursts.
Do you know that not everything you know is to be shared with your husband? Your friend’s, sister’s, or customer’s body shapes and features are a few of those. Your friend’s Kim K like bums has nothing to do with your husband’s finances, so keep it out of discussion. Don’t create lustful images in the mind of the man by offering unsolicited advertisements and revelations.
4. Serve him what he deserves
The point here is not the submission influenced servitude some women engage in and end up enslaving themselves right under their matrimonial roof. The idea here is; pleasing your husband with your wherewithal_ beauty, sexuality, manners, culinary skills and every other enviable qualities of yours. This is for the purpose of appreciating his person, his efforts and his commitment. Is there a better reward for goodness other than goodness?
A man who works to provide for your needs, is faithful and understanding despite your flaws (we all have flaws!) deserves nothing but appreciation and respect. Denying him this is similar to depositing a good gadget on the waste dump. Anyone who takes it knows you if you had needed it, it should not be found there.
Just make sure you are not loosing yourself in the process of serving him what he deserves. Serve yourself what you deserve too! Keep your man yours, appreciate him, serve him what he deserves.
5. Who you are
Probably, your husband saw a meekness in your countenance and that was the magnetic attraction. Or he is so obsessed with your beauty that he waves off your temper issue. Well, keep yourself lucky by keeping it at that. Don’t be too revealing. Don’t tell him how evil you can be despite your innocent demeanor. Don’t show him that your temperament is no respecter of persons. That is not openness, neither is it submission.
The more you speak or act negative, the greater the inclination to be bad. Watch your tongue, learn to control it. No one wants to love a Jezebel forever!
6. Honor your family
Some women in the name of submission are so humble that they have humbled their parents. Imagine a wife opening up to her husband that her mother had once been caught committing adultery. She later complained that her mother worths no penny in the sight of her husband. Do you blame the man?
Dearest ladies in love! Know that you’re not being humble by belittling your family’s worth to your husband. You’re not being transparent either. You could humble yourself, it is your life, your marriage, your choice. But never humble your people.
Now, may we officially open the floor for critique or critical analysis?