10 Respects You Owe Your Child
Respect in this part of the world is usually an attitude of regard accorded to the older party in a relationship. As a result, the youngsters’ rights are often trampled upon not as a conscious denial but because the respect and regard meant for them are being waived. Be it a child/parent relationship, respect is a two way thing which should be accorded and reciprocated. Children need to be shown and taught how to respect others just as they deserve to be respected.
1. Respect for infants’ infancy
Infants should be adored for their meekness while their crying, dependence and clinginess should not be a reason to neglect them or treat them badly. Empathy, patience, love and the right provision translates to respect for their humanity.
2. Respect for the relationship you share with the child.
As a parent, you are related to your child in a way no one is ever going to be. Keeping this bond respected and appreciated is a means to securing trust and loyalty on their part. Don’t lie to them. Never make children feel less important. Don’t prioritize every body and every other thing at their expense.
3. Respect for children’s gender.
Your children are yours irrespective of their gender, what the society thinks or gender roles and obligations. Treat them as your children and practice fairness and understanding in dealing with them. Never saddle them with more than enough responsibilities nor undermine their worth and strength because of their sexes. You’ll be respecting their person more than you think you are.
4. Respect for their abilities and personality.
In Arifa Hudda’s ABC’s of Parenting, “DO not degrade your child for his shortcomings, for everyone of us has some.” Each child is unique in his/her own way. And you will not be respecting them if you demean them for their abilities and personality.
✔ Accept their efforts at being nice, helpful and heedful however little or insignificant it seems. And praise them for it.
✔ Don’t make difficult tasks and duties which are above their abilities an obligation for them.
✔ Don’t force them to revolt or rebel against those they hold in high esteem. Your warring partner may be wayward, yet, be adorable to your kids.
✔ Never judge or assign positions between children’s dexterity and skills, beauty and manners especially in their presence. Your feelings may seem sincere to you but when communicated, becomes insulting to their personality.
5. Respecting promises made to children
When promises are fulfilled, it is partly because we’re trustworthy and also because we have regard for the other party. Parents who make empty promises to their kids and don’t apologize for the inability to fulfill them are showing their kids that they are not reliable. Worse still, it could mean that they (kids) don’t matter so much that promises should be fulfilled for their sake.
6. Respect for their choices and decisions
Children are not children so they could be bossed around at every instances. One way to show them respect is by respecting their opinions and choices. In fact, this may help them in future in being good decision makers.
✔ If you can offer your opinion rather than instructions on the right way of playing or carrying out a task, it will make children more willing to carry out the task.
✔ Accept and respect their friends. Don’t condemn their friends because they don’t attend the same church as you do, they’re handicap, having a lower standard of living and so on. Something must have interested your child in making friends with them.
✔ Respect their opinions and inputs especially in regard to their own life. Let them choose the color and design of their wears and toys. Let them own their life.
✔ Give children the privilege to make inputs, give advises, offer solutions and ideas in family issues. They are part of the family and their opinions should count too.
7. Respect for each child irrespective of birth position
It is not a laudable act when parents gauge the love and attention they have for their kids because of their birth position. A child is a child whether born first or last. If you have the honor of bringing them to this world, honor them equally with love and respect.
8. Respectful behaviors towards children
Just as we expect respect and regard from kids, we should be willing to offer same to them. This means showing them how to reciprocate good manners.
✔ Wait for them to pass through an entrance, don’t make it an obligation that they must always wait on you.
✔ Honor their turns and queue. Don’t assume your age as a right to undermine their rights.
✔ Offer greetings first and watch them respond rather than expecting them to always greet you. No rule says elders should not greet first.
9. Respect their belongings
Don’t take their items without their permission. Remember that you’re inculcating responsibility in them with your actions.
Their toys, books, artworks etc. are as important as your gold, your wares and your products. Don’t hurt their feelings by hurting those.
10. Respect for their experiences and youthfulness
As children grow into young adults, you may want to reconsider your disciplinary stand, try to be more compromising and respect their experiences too.
It is possible they have gained more knowledge than you had in your younger days. Remember it’s a 21st century world. Your child will always be your child but would never be a child forever!